Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
