He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I want her autograph on my taint
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
