I can tuck mytits in my pants
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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