Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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