Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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