mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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