I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
