I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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