So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
