Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
