Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
