is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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