the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
