I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
