I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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