barbara walters just said penis...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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