Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
