She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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