I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
