Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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