nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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