I can text with my tongue
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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