shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
