this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
