We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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