I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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