Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
