Im at strip club and am horny
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
