just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
