I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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