The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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