ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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