Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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