but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize