It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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