I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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