Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
