its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
