I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
