What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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