Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
