I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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