he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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