ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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