Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
