I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
