Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
