margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
