We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
