You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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