I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
