After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize