ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
