we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
