good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
