i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
