Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
