You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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