So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize